#2 (aspie) says he hates competition.
That's not precisely true. He loves to win. The problem is, he hates to lose. He really hates to lose. 
Tonight that meant he was stressing big time about a spelling bee.
We talked it through. I suggested he turn the problem around. He's not competing to win, he's competing to get through the experience. He's competing with his own disability. Doesn't matter if he cries or not, just that he gets through it. One day, maybe, he'll learn to lose gracefully. Then he'll be able to compete.
He did well with that.
 This is a big contrast to #1 (autism, adhd, etc). #1 likes to win, but he doesn't mind losing. That's why he can be a baseball pitcher -- something I could never imagine doing. I was a lot more like #2.